Cooking By the Book
by cielothechica
Summary: Jane Crocker, the famous heiress to the Crocker throne. She's always cooked by the book, never having broken a rule nor friendship. She's a perfect daughter. But Crocker Corps sweeps in, starting to train her for the inheritance. As her life begins to change, she begins to realize she isn't happy being the sweet girl that submits to any order, and she decides to mix things up.
1. Chapter 1

I open my eyes, squinting at the sun. Today was Monday, the thirteenth day of January. It wasn't a normal Monday of course, today for the first time ever I was going to detention as a junior in high school. I was only defending myself though, a girl was picking on me because I was a size zero and she wouldn't stop.

I was ignoring it until she said something so rude I... I accidentally punched her in the face.

Forget it, I took her down.

Accident my heiress ass.

I got up, yawning and rubbing my eyes. I picked up my red glasses from my bedside table, sliding them on as the world gained clarity. I got up and shrugged off my shirt then put on a bra, followed by my cyan ghostbeast shirt from Problem Sleuth. I was a little bit chubby, but an heiress of Crocker Corporations is bound to be. I pulled off my pants, replacing it with a cyan skirt that was a little bit above my knees. I pulled a comb through my short raven hair, and then added a string of pearls around my neck. I slid on a pair of red flats then walked out of my room, walking to the bathroom. There I applied a nice amount of makeup, red lipstick and mascara, and a quick spray of my favorite perfume that made me smell like funfetti birthday cake. After all, I wasn't one to cake my face with makeup.

…

Cake pun?

No.

I walked back into my room, grabbing up my school bag from my desk. It was a huge red spoon, designed like a sling purse. I slid it across me, the spoon on my back. Then I walked back out again, to go to downstairs. I walked into the kitchen, pressing a kiss on my dad's cheek as he read the Washington Fatherly Times.

"Good Morning, Dad." I said cheerily, flashing a quick smile and snatching a piece of toast off his plate.

What? You snooze, you loose.

"Good Morning Jane." He said, turning the page. "You should go to school now, it's almost time already."

I looked at the clock, which only confirmed his statement. "Gosh, you're right! See you after baking club, Dad!"

I walked out, heading for the door. I felt awful for lying to him, saying I had baking club instead of admitting that I had gotten in trouble for doing something rather rude. I grabbed my keys and opened the door, then closed it behind me. I went to my car and opened it, then climbed in and closed it behind me. I started it, putting my school bag in the passenger seat. Gosh, would this be a day.

Did my school even have a baking club?

I pulled into my high school's parking lot and checked the time. I had ten minutes before being early to class, I made pretty good time today. I opened up the door, taking out my keys and sliding them into my spoon bag. I grabbed my spoon and stepped outside when suddenly someone… jumped on me?!

"Janeyyyyy, baby!" Roxy said, her alcohol tinted breath wafting towards my nostrils. "Good Morginggg!" The blonde giggled, shaking her head. "Err… Morning."

"Roxy!" I laughed, regaining my balance. "Gosh, be careful!" I shrugged her off, closing my door.

"Janey. Don't be such a tightass. You can't pull that anymore now that you're a _rebel_." Roxy smirked, knowing I couldn't shake off that retort.

"Roxy, that was _one time_, you swore you wouldn't bring it up again!" I blushed, turning my head. The reason I had clocked that girl was because she had called me "Chubs".

My boyfriend, Gamzee Makara, is a man of miracles. ( Aka, a juggalo.) His parents were completely normal, yet he picked up the trait. But he's so sweet, loving, and caring… He just smokes pot too. He also has bipolar disorder, but he's rather good about taking his medicine. While most mock me for my body, teasing me over not being a size perfect zero, he praises me. He says I look beautiful and always makes me feel beautiful, and somehow, he found a way to turn chubs into a loving nickname.

That girl overheard and used it as a snide remark, so I expressed myself on the matter.

I clocked her in the face, marched over to Gamzee, and skipped school for the rest of the day with him.

Roxy was the only person I told about what we did afterwards, which was baking weed brownies. Then, we ate them and had a few hot sloppy makeout sessions.

She snorted, patting me on the back. "Jane, it's okay. But let's not pretend like I'm ever going to let you live that down."

I laughed, slinging my spoon over my shoulder. 'Let's just get to class Ro-lal."

I opened up the door to my home economics class, brushing my short bangs back to the side. Gosh, I didn't sign up for class to be so hard! At least I could count on this class being fun, we were going over our baking unit. I sat down in my usual seat, right next to my favorite juggalo who was sitting at the small kitchen units in the classroom.

"Hey Chubs," He said in his gravelly voice. "How's a motherfuckin sis?"

I laughed as he put his arm around my shoulder, looking at his clown face paint. "Just fine, but now apparently I need to sign up for baking club."

"Baking club?" He asked, giving a laugh. "You're the best motherfucking baker I know, why the hell are you all up and joining baking club?"

"I couldn't tell my dad I had detention, so I told him I had baking club!" I replied, putting my head back in frustration. "But I don't even know if this school _has_ a gosh darned baking club!"

"Relax Jane, I know who runs the baking club." He said with a smile. "I can all up and go hook you up."

"Thanks a million Gamzee," I said, giving a sigh of relief. "Who runs it?"

"Oh, you know Kanaya?" he said.

"Kanaya?" I said, gulping. "Kanaya Maryam? The foreign exchange student?"

Kanaya Maryam was a French exchange student, but you wouldn't know it from how she spoke. She insisted on losing her accent, speaking very carefully in order to do so. You knew she was French by her _apparel_. The girl never wore the same thing twice, and every day she looked like she was stepping right out of a magazine to grace us with her appearance. She had the stylish short hair you see on models nowadays, and she had such fair and flawless hair that she looked like a teenage porcelain doll.

She was intimidating, in a beautiful way.

But still intimidating.

"Do you know any other Kanayas, Jane?" He replied with a sigh of exasperation. "Yes, Kanaya Maryam."

I groaned as Dirk and Roxy slid into the chairs in front of us. Dirk sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose at the sight of Gamzee touching me. Roxy was the only person I told, but she wasn't the only person that knew.

Great job, Miss Zuipper Pips.

"Hello Jane." Dirk said, giving me a nod of acknowledgement. "Gamzee."

"Hello Dirk!" I tried to say it cheerfully, but it was kind of hard to change Dirk's emotions. "Great morning today right?"

He gave me an absent-minded nod, pulling out a few scraps of metal and some screws from his pocket and beginning to tinker around with them.

Roxy rolled her eyes, leaning forward on the counter. "So, how's it going on baking club?"

"Great, I guess. Gamzee says there is one, and he's signing me up." I said, smiling at the change in conversational mood.

"Yeah, a friend of mine runs it." He chimed in. "Kanaya.'

"Ouch! Kanaya? I know her, my little sister is dating her!" Roxy said.

"Rose is dating Kanaya?" I replied, having first heard of this.

Rose was Roxy's little sister, but by far more mature. She was a sophomore at our school and was the top of her class. She was friends with my little cousin John, Jake's cousin Jade, and Dirk's little brother Dave.

"Yeah, it's _totally _a thing now." Roxy replied. "Since the last part of freshman year actually."

"Oh, I'm a little late on this one!" I laughed, getting a small blush from embarrassment. "I hope them the best!"

"Yeah they're so cute it's like I walk in and I thought they were doing the do, because I heard like loud noises and tapping, but nope it's Kanaya sewing Rose a new dress." Roxy laughed, crossing her arms. "A fucking _dress_."

I look at my friends, a rather attractive pair. Roxy had blond hair that went to her shoulders and was curly at the ends. She had a rare eye condition, **Alexandria Genesis**, and so her eyes were violet. However with her black lipstick and pink eyeliner, they almost looked a shade of pink. She wore a crop top with the image of a mutated cat on it, a tribute to her cat she saved as a kitten from a makeup testing lab, which experiments caused its mother to birth it with four eyes. She wore a white miniskirt with black leggings underneath. She, unlike me, was a perfect size zero. She was very flirtatious, a peacemaker, and my loyal bffsy. She was my right hand gal and I loved her, you could always count on her for anything at anytime. You could talk to her about anything, and she wouldn't judge you for it. Roxy was one of those girls that could make something out of nothing, and was great in a stitch. Roxy was a notorious drinker and she believed in the saying 'It's Three O'Clock Somewhere' like a religion. She loved kittens, and had a cat herself named Jaspers. It was actually Rose's cat, but oh well. A cat is a cat, despite who owns it. She loved to spend her time at the animal rights groups, liberating more animals like the one on her tee shirt.

Dirk Strider was an albino, he had white hair he dyed a platinum blonde to avoid looks and attention of course. He styled it to anime perfection, going to the side like he was constantly having his hair blown in the breeze like a model. He also wore these huge spiky anime glasses to hide his eyes' bright hue, and he never took them off. He wore a black muscle shirt with a hat on it, saying he loved hats but because of his 'full anime' hair he could never put a hat on his hair. He wore black fitted jeans, one might even go as far to say skinny jeans, but he rocked them either way. He was strong and muscled from all his hours spent working on his robots, seeing as he spent his every spare minute in his room building these insane human robots. He was destined to be great one day, we all knew it. He was obsessed with this incredibly shitty set of comics, has a puppet fetish, watches children's shows for hours, and can speak semi-fluent Japanese due to his infatuation with anime and "going full anime". But still… his southern charm was one you just couldn't shake or forget. His accent was charming, and his mannerisms just were the icing on the cake. However, if you got on his bad side, he could rip the emotion and life right out of you and make you miserable. But usually, all we saw was his side that was full of heart and caring for us.

Gosh, I was one lucky girl.

The teacher came in, one of my favorites personally. She was a short little woman in her mid-thirties, but her heart made up for what her height lacked. She was always nice and smiling, and she was the only teacher who never had given a detention or referral, despite having many occasions to do so. She had frosted hair with mint eye shadow that brings out her lime colored eyes. She preferred we call her Ms. Calli, but her name was Ms. Calliope. We all loved her. Especially Roxy, who spent all her volunteer hours helping her grade and clean the classroom. However, Ms. Calliope, showed many hints in class that I was her favorite for unknown reasons.

"Hello class!" She said in her cheery manner. "Let's take attendance, then I have a super special project for you guys today! Let's see…" She proceeded to set down her bag and grab her attendance folder. "Okay, Jane Crocker?"

"Here!" I called out.

"Jake English?" Ms. Calli asked. "Jake?"

Suddenly, the door flew open and our favorite British boy came in. "Golly, I'm here!" We laughed as we looked at him, his glasses askew and his skull tee a bit wrinkled. "Jade fell asleep waiting for class again, holy toledo is that girl hard to wake up!"

He sat down at the last seat of our table, the end seat.

And so attendance went on.

Jake English was an old flame of mine, also ironically one of Dirk's but that's a long story. Needless to say I got over him, but I still care for him. He is beyond clueless, and always has his head in the clouds. He has black hair, the kind that has a cute little side bangs. He also has green vivid eyes, but like me, he needs glasses as well. He has an obsession with skulls, so he wears a green one on his tee, but puts an unbuttoned flannel over it. He likes to wear these micro shorts, and somehow the school allows it. Honestly, I think it's because our principal Doctor Scratch recognizes the fact even if they did start a riot, Jake still wouldn't take off the shorts. He loved his micro shorts.

Finally attendance ended, and Ms. Calli put away her folder. "Alright, so here's the stitch! You all are going to partner up-" Immediately chatter arouse, everybody giving their friends looks and words of affirmation, scrambling for a partner. "Guys! Settle down!" She said with a stern look. The class quieted down, she was just too cute to disobey. "As I was saying, you all have to partner up to bake a cake. However, it's not going to be just any cake! In the school rules you had to pick a symbol to be known for in this school, for example Dirk picked a hat and Meenah picked the Pieces sign in fuchsia. You will have to incorporate both your signs and your personalities into the cake. I'm expecting fondant, icing sculptures, and everything else I've taught you so far in this unit!"

There was a universal groan around the room. It was true, in order to avoid uniforms our principal decided that all the students were to wear a white or black tee shirt with a symbol of their choice on it. What they wore as pants or other accessories were up to them, within reason of course.

"Also!" Ms. Calliope said, grinning slyly. "I picked the partners!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Meenah Piexes and Arenea Serket, you two will make a cake together." Mrs. Calliope said, starting off her list. "Terezi Pyrope and Sollux Captor, you two are a team. Karkat Vantas and… Aradia Medigo, you two-"

She continued on and on, until her words began to melt together like sweet syrup while you make icing. Around and around until the beautiful white was so smooth it looked like liquid gold rolling around in the bowl while you mixed it, around and around and- Bam!

My head hit the table, or at least it should have. Someone had reached out and saved me from the hard surface of the table. Then, another pair of hands grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up. The next thing I knew, Gamzee was looking at me with concern. He had been the one to pull me up so…?

"Dammit Crocker, can't you even stay up in your favorite class?" Dirk said, in his teasing older brother tone. Dirk had kind of adopted me as his own. He looked out for me, and I was grateful for it. He had sharp senses while I could trip on thin air. In turn, I made sure he ate properly and actually slept. His robotics sometimes would make him stay up all night and not sleep for days. It was a terrible habit of his, but with me calling him nightly to make sure he ate and was going to sleep he could keep his health.

Gamzee turned me to him, confirming my suspicions he was the one to pull me up. "Jane, God, are you okay?" He said, concern in his voice. "Did you not sleep last night?"

I nodded my head, shrugging off his hands. Turning back to the front where she was still calling out names, I vaguely heard my cousin's name. "John," a hushed male voice said. "Your hot cousin just fainted I think." Then was a pause, where I heard my little cousin whisper back. "No, you dummy. She didn't faint, can't you see her sitting up?"

I sighed as Gamzee put his arm around my shoulder. Gosh golly, was taking a mixed class rough. Even though it was only sophomore to seniors, saving us the agony of freshman, the younger kids still managed to get on my nerves. Of course, being the perfect little heiress I had to be, I could never show my frustration. I turn my head back, flashing a perfect white smile. "I'm just peachy, guys! I appreciate your concern, but I'll be all right!" I whispered over to them, my voice dripping in false sweetness.

Gosh, was doing that tiring.

John was a sophomore, who was best friends with Dave who was a junior and Dirk's younger brother who was a senior. John was also friends with Rose who was also a sophomore and was Roxy's younger sister who is also a senior. Then, he was friends with Jane who was another junior who was Jake's younger cousin who was also a junior. After a childhood of us hanging out, our younger siblings and cousins got forced into becoming friends with each other.

My attention was ripped away from my thoughts when I heard my name said out in Ms. Calliope's high and cheerful tone, that always dragged out her 'u's. "Jane Crocker and Dirk Strider, you two are partners!"

Dirk looked at me, a playful smirk on his face. "So, looks like it's you and me Crocker." He turned back around, saying something to Roxy, who let out a drunken giggle. My acute hearing picked up a word or two, nothing of concern. Mostly just something about my younger cousin, apparently John and Dave got assigned together like they do for everything. I sunk into my seat as the last names were paired up. I looked at the clock, which revealed that fifteen minutes had passed of the forty five minute period. Dear God, this was going to take forever.

Mrs. Calliope clapped her hands, the last partners assigned. "Now! Please get with your partners, I want you to start the brainstorming!" Silently the partners broke up, turning the classroom into a sea of moving black and white shirts and the sound of scratching chairs filling the room.

I got up, my shoulders back and straight, perfect posture. Dirk pointed to a worktable over in the corner that was mostly alone, only Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora, Nepeta Leijon, and Equius Zahhak were there. I wove my way through the crowd, reaching the table just moments after Dirk. I waved a small hello to Feferi, she was another cousin of mine. There weren't any tough feelings about the inheritance though, it was almost as if she didn't want it at all. She waved back, flashing me a smile. I sometimes wonder how we can even be related! She was a tall blonde, with a spray of freckles across her nose with a perfect body shape. Her voice was high and bubbly, and she was never seen without a smile. She was training to be Captain of the swim team, second to only her sister Meenah Peixes. Then of course, there was me.

"So, Crocker. How do you want to do this?" I turned to Dirk, returning my attention to him. He had already pulled out his notebook, drawing a model of the cake.

"Well, you chose a hat for your symbol while I chose a ghostbeast from Problem Sleuth." I said, playing with my earring. "How could we incorporate the two to express our personalities? "

"Didn't you say there were a lot of hats in Problem Sleuth?"

"Fedoras, why do you ask?"

"Well, we could use fedoras on the cake. It's still a hat is it not?"

"Yes, I suppose you're correct. But that leaves the question, what with the rest of the cake?"

"Well, my dearest Crocker, how would you describe yourself?"

"Shucks busters, I've never really given it much thought… I'll think about that tonight."

"Then I'll do the same, but can we both agree on at least a color scheme?"

"Well that was obvious, cyan and orange."

"Point taken. Are you free this Saturday?"

"I suppose, why do you ask?"

"Would you like to come over to work on it then? I didn't get much sleep last night, I feel like just not doing this right now."

"Hold up there Strider, you _said _you were going to bed when I called you."

"I did?"

"Don't play coy with me Strider! Gosh golly, you need to take care of yourself!"

"I know, but I had to work on my-"

"_My robot, _yes Dirk I've heard this every night from you."

"For all it's worth, I promise to go to bed on time today."

"That will suffice until tomorrow."

"_Jane."_

"_Dirk."_

Friendly banter continued, until eventually the bell rung.

The day had finally ended, and here I was in detention. The people in here were friend of John, who ironically was in detention also. There was Dave Sprite, a tall bleach blonde boy with a Cheetos addiction, his fingers constantly orange. He was in for eating during Algebra 2.

There was Terezi Pyrope, the only blind girl at our school. She had short spiky black hair that she added red highlights into. She chose a teal Libra symbol on a black tee shirt, and she paired it with red skinny jeans. She was in the debate team, and in the legal academy. She was a talented prosecutor, earning the nickname 'Blind Justice'. She could however, see the two colors red and blue, so she wore only the two colors. A pair of red glasses helped her see basic shapes and outlines. However, to be able to attend a normal school she was required to take a seeing eye dog which she dressed up in a red dragon cape. She was in trouble for threatening to hit a student in the face with her walking stick.

Then, left Porrim Maryam who was the older sister of Kanaya Maryam. Dark brown hair just above her breasts that flowed down like a chocolate river, and she had shiny silver piercings on her eyebrows and lips. She wore a deep black V-neck dress with a jade Virgo sign, which Doctor Scratch could not ignore. Her black tattoos that swirled around her white skin were strangely beautiful, and she was a known heartbreaker. She was in for inappropriate dressing.

Currently she was sitting on the desk behind me, stroking my back despite my complaints, saying I 'looked too stressed; and 'why was a good girl like me in a bad place like this'.

The supervisor was Ms. Calliope's twin brother, Mr. Calliborn. Unlike her, he was a complete ass. He left a few minutes in to go watch a stereotypically male movie in the Teacher's Lounge like he always does.

"John…" I whispered, "How much longer?"

He looked at me and laughed, "An hour."

"I'm going to the bathroom." I got up abruptly, almost running for the door.

I sat down on a bench in front of the school getting some fresh air. I could leave right now, John would cover for me. So why didn't I? Forget it, I could stand one more hour of harassment couldn't I?

Then, a fuchsia car raced into the loop in front of the school stopping in front of me. It was a sports car with the top rolled down, the Peixes sisters inside.

"Get in loser, we're going shopping."


	3. Chapter 3

I sat in the corner of a Victoria's Secret, trying my hardest to look away from my cousins.

"Oh my _cod_, Jane Crocker." Meenah said, tugging at my arm. "You look like an old lady! You need to update the delicates!"

"Meenah, let go of me!" I whined as she pulled me up. "I don't want to wear those things, I shan't."

"What the shell? Shan't? We are updating you Janey, be happy." Meenah said as Feferi dug through the racks for something in what they assumed to be my size.

"Oh!" Feferi called out in her bubbly voice. "This is perfect!" She came back proudly with a variety of little lacy red things, bras and undies alike.

"Oh, _shut up._" Meenah said, smiling. "Those are too cute! Jane, you have to try on at least one."

"_I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't-"_

"Oh my **cod.**" Meenah started dragging me towards the dressing room, Feferi trailing behind, atrocities in hand. She shoved me into a stall, giggling as she had Feferi come in and close the door behind her. "Jane, you are playing with the big boys now! I _heard _about that fun day off you had, look at our little heiress! Now, you just need to dress like a big girl!" She smiled, reaching out her hand to Feferi who dropped a set into it. "And I'm going to help you!"

Feferi started pulling off my shirt and I felt like Eliza in _My Fair Lady_ when she didn't want to take a bath. My struggling was muffled under the shirt, and I felt my bra unclasping as Meenah started to put a new one on me.

"Oh my cod, Jane stop squirming!" Meenah said, struggling to clasp it. "Argh, Feferi! This is too small!"

"How the shell is it too small? That's like a C!" Feferi snatches up my bra, checking the size. "How the shell is she a 36DD?!"

"Can we not do this!?" I plead.

"No, you get her a new set." Meenah said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I swear to cod, get it right this time Feferi."

I had grabbed up my shirt to cover myself in the pandemonium, and I looked at Meenah. Long braided dark brown hair past her waist, fuchsia diamond cartilage and belly button piercing, and a tight black tube top that ended at her ribs with a fuchsia pieces mark jumped out at me. Black skinny jeans hugged her hips, as fuchsia pumps impatiently tapped at the ground. Gold bangles jangled at her wrist as she opened the door to see Feferi standing there with a new batch.

She calmly closed the door and selected a new pair, and laughed. "Get ready guppy!" Then, my shirt was pulled away and my clothes with it, and after a full ten seconds, the two had me dressed to the fucking nines in red lacy pieces of overpriced shit.

They looked at me for a second, before repeating the process until I had tried on every pair they picked out. In the end, my visa was used to pay for six new pairs of delicates, all of which I didn't need. I stood out of the wretched store, with my shopping bag in hand. They laughed, high fiving each other at their 'good job'. All I could think was that torture had been outlawed hundreds of years ago and somebody needed to give them the memo.

"Oh my cod, Meenah!" Feferi said. "We should update the rest of her now!"

"That was the entire porpoise of paying off Mr. Caliborn, cod Fef." Meenah said, playing with one of her long braids.

"Then, let's go!" Feferi said, grabbing my arm and leading the way to a new hell.

She dragged me down the mall and to a store I didn't recognize. "Oh, Crocker tab please!" She called out to the employee working.

"Crocker tab?" I asked.

"Yeah, Grandma pays for all our shopping adventures." Meenah said, as if this was common knowledge. "She's a huge believer in looking your best."

Feferi went up to the counter, smiling. Gosh. It was obvious from my years of habitual studying the girls meant well, but gosh were they forceful! "Red color scheme please, minimal cyan."

The lady got out from behind the counter, and I easily recognized her as the Maryams' mother. "Hello," She said in same way Kanaya spoke, slowly to not let her accent take a hold on her words. "I am Dolorosa and it is a pleasure to have you today. It is to my understanding you want red and minimal cyan, is that correct?"

"Yes," Meenah said, smiling. "She dresses like a little baby! We need a more adult look, don't you think? "

Dolorosa smiled, inspecting me. "Well, I do suppose it could use some updating. What do you need?"

Meenah smiled from ear to ear, she loved getting what she wanted. "Uniform, Night Outfits, Day Outfits, Casual, Formal, Semi-Formal, Meetings, Athletics, Gym, and Lingerie… the sort."

"Oh, this will be fun then." Dolorosa said, putting her hands together. "Are you ready Ms. Crocker?"

"No." I replied, playing with my hands behind my back.

"Alright, let's start then."

Rows and rows of clothes.

We had gone through rows and rows of clothes.

I spent a small fortune, all on clothing.

I changed into the lacy red lingerie Meenah insisted I wear, taking all my 'unheiresslike' clothing in a big black bag with her to prove a point. I checked the clock, seeing it read eleven o'clock pm.

It was time.

I picked up my red iPhone, dialing in Dirk's number.

It rang three times.

"Hello Jane." Dirk said, running water in the backround.

"Hello Dirk! Did you eat today?" I said, laying down in my bed.

"Wow, you really cut to the chase. Matter of fact, I did eat today." Dirk said, the water so hard I cold barely hear him.

"Really? What did you eat then?" I replied, taking off my earrings and setting them on the bedside table.

"Italian." He replied.

"Dirk Martha Strider, a hot n' ready pizza from Little Caesars does not constitute as a meal." I said, groaning.

"Jane, that most definitely does. It has all the food groups! Cheese for dairy, bread for grain, pepperoni for meat, and tomato sauce for fruit." He replied, I could almost imagine him smirking.

"_Dirk._"

"What? I was busy and Dave can't cook for shit." He said with a laugh, as the water turned off.

"Jesus, do I need to go over there personally and cook for you?" I said sarcastically, taking off my glasses.

"Jane, I think you just might have found the solution." Dirk said, rustling in the backround.

Oh, he was probably taking a shower. "You're too much Dirk. Go to bed."

"Fine, I'll go to bed. Don't worry your pretty little head over me Jane, I'll be alright." He hung up and the line went dead.

"Pretty little head?" I whispered.

Gosh golly, the Striders were the best with shooting compliments casually.

But for now, I'll just have to try to not catch a cold sleeping in this thin piece of overpriced red tissue.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jane."

"_Jane_."

"_Jane Crocker."_

I bolt up in my bed, ramming into my Dad's forehead. He jerks back, rubbing his pale forehead which now has a distinct pink mark on it from my accidental hit.

"_Jane Crocker, what are you wearing?_" My Dad gives me one of his infamous looks of fatherly disappointment. "Have you been talking with the Corporation Kids?" I gulp nervously; the Corporation Kids were the people I beat out for the Crocker throne. My Dad always insisted I stay away from them, and block all Corporation related things from my life. He wouldn't tell me what or why, but I knew there was something going on in the background.

"Maybe, the Peixes took me out yesterday after Baking-"

"_**Jane Crocker, I never want you around them again."**_

"_Dad-"_

"_**No." **_He rubbed his temples, and steps away from my bed. "Jane you are a young lady, but I am your Dad. And as your Dad, I do not want you inheriting Crocker Corporations. However, you have it set in your mind you want to and I cannot stop you. So go ahead, try it with the Corporation Kids, just like I did. You'll see that they do nothing but bad, once you stick in a little longer. Anyways, might as well get dressed for school, you're late." He walked towards the door and left me there speechless.

I silently got up and pulled out one of the outfits Dolorosa had selected for me. Apparently, like she had for Meenah and Feferi, Grandma bribed Doctor Scratch into 'cutting me some slack' on the uniform rule. You could definitely say that was an understatement. I looked at it again; a red strapless bra, a black shirt that had the life symbol on it with a neckline so low it revealed my bra which kind of made me glad for the Victoria's Secret visit, black leather skinnies, and strappy little red sandals. I undressed, replacing my garments for the selected ones.

I looked in my mirror and a little gasp left my lips. I looked… hot. I looked _really, really hot._ I wasn't used to it, Roxy had always been the showstopper. But as I turned in the mirror, making ridiculous poses, I couldn't help but giggle. Maybe Dad was wrong about the Corporation Kids, maybe we only got off to a rough start. They were so right! I was so outdated, if I could look like this! I slid on my new 'spoon' a two finger gold ring encrusted with red rubies, and then but in my ruby earrings. I couldn't wait to go to school for once in my life. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom, dabbing on foundation, mascara, eyeliner, and flesh colored lipstick.

Then, I basically ran down the stairs to the porch, only pausing to grab my new black leather bag from the kitchen counter. When the Peixes had taken me shopping, I had left my car there. So, I called up Roxy who said she'd be more than happy to take me to school. Her white convertible pulled into my driveway, and she rolled down the window.

"Hot _damn_, Janey!" She said giggling. "You're joking right? This is little Miss. I-Don't-Want-To-Go-To-The-Beach-Because-I-Will-Be-Forced-To-Show-Skin ?"

I sighed; she obviously didn't think I was serious_._ "I thought about it, and I think it's time for me to update my wardrobe." I walked up to her car, opening the passenger door. "Don't you think it suits me though?" I plopped in, placing my bag at my feet.

"Yeah, sure Janey." Roxy said as she pulled out of my driveway. "I just don't think it's you."

- .-.-.-.-

I walked down the hallway, on my way to home economics when I heard a sharp tone.

"_**Jane.**_"

Oh.

_Shit._

"John?" I said, turning around. "Shucks busters, I didn't see you! Wow, you look great today, did you do something with your hair? It must be, you look-"

"Jane, what are you doing?" My younger cousin said, looking down at me with angry baby blue eyes. He might be younger, but gosh that child grew like a weed. "You look-… Jane, what happened? Were you looking at those magazines again? I keep telling you, you don't need to look like those models, your blue skirt and ghostbeast tee looked great on you!"

"John, I swear to God. This is my own choice; I chose to look this way today." I sighed, fiddling with the strap of my bag. "I think I look nice this way, don't you?"

"Jane, this isn't a matter of looking good." He sighed, running a hand through his raven hair. "You don't look like you, you look like a goddamn Corporati-"

"She looks like a _cutieee~_" Feferi said, cutting him off. She squeezed herself next to me in the busy hallway, smiling cutely. "But you'll have to excuse her! She can't be late to home economics, Crockers aren't late to anything! I'll see you there, you shouldn't be late either!" The bubbly blonde then proceeded to walk with me down the hallway, towards home ec.

"Cod, I wish people would give your new look a chance! Others sea-m to like it, but your family is so tough!" She spoke with actual concern; she wasn't acting snotty or brattish. To her this was normal, which made me think this is how she had been raised.

"Your right Feferi, but I'm 'shore' they'll get over it!" I said, attempting to use one of the fish puns she loved. She almost combusted of happiness, hugging me right there and then.

"D'aw Jane! You used a fish pun!" She smiled ear to ear, pulling open the door after releasing me. "Okay, but it's time for class. Seal-iously, we better not be late. Grandma will be royally unpleased!"

We walked in, hand in hand. We both sat down where we had before when we worked in our teams, where Nepeta, Equius, Eridan, and Dirk already were. "Shello!" Feferi said, plopping down next to Eridan, as I sat down next to Dirk. "What did I miss?"

Eridan laughed, running a hair through his brown hair that had a large strip dyed blonde. "Well," He said in his thick English accent. "Your sister rejected my brother in poetry today."

"Ohh, I was waiting for her to use that one." Feferi said with a giggle.

"Yes, it was quite the show. He's such a dork I swear…" Eridan said, shaking his head.

"Didn't you have a crush on him when you were little?" Feferi said, poking him in the ribs.

"I was a very confused child." Eridan, putting his hands up.

"Are you sure you still aren't a confused teen?" Feferi retorted, batting her eyes at him.

"Oh my cod, Fef." Eridan said, laughing. "Incest much?"

Eridan was like Feferi, beat out to inheriting a company. He was second in line to an English fishing company, and one of the main dealers with Crocker Corporations. I had met his older brother on numerous occasions, and he wasn't all that bad. He looked handsome, but he was too desperate.

Dirk, as I just noticed, had been tapping me on the shoulder. "Crocker, rocking the new look." He smiled his quirky little almost smirk, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him, my shoulder and back pressed to his chest. "But we really need to work on this, unless of course you get one of your new admirers to do it for you." His voice had dropped to a whisper, and he spoke into my ear directly.

"Dirk, what are you doing?" I said in a hushed voice, pushing up my glasses with my free hand.

"Oh, just pissing off about half of the school's male and a nice chunk of the female population." He said, and I could sense him smirking.

"What the hecky are you saying Dirk?" I replied.

"Oh, why don't you look for yourself Crocker?" he replied.

I turned my head, looking around the classroom. He was right, there were little looks of envy in majority of male eyes, and a few death stares to Dirk. Then there were scattered looks of envy from the females, seeing as this school was almost too gay to function. Even I was a pansexual, and my friends were a variety of sexualities. I laughed, pulling myself out of Dirk's hold. My voice back to its normal volume, I replied to Dirk's little show. "But we should get to work, no open admirers yet."


	5. Chapter 5

_**author's note**_

**Oh my gosh, thank you guys so much for supporting me for this long! I'm trying really hard, but gosh, I'm applying for this medical academy and wowie wow wow is it a lot of work! Anyways, I'm really glad that you guys like this, but some reviews would be great! Criticism is appreciated when constructive, and compliments just kind of make me want to marry you. 3  
**

**Anyways, I'm so terrible at staying on topic, next update will be by Monday! Maybe if I get bored of staring at human anatomy and crying because I still can't draw a porportionate human I'll get it posted within eight hours but I don't know, I want to do a thing for Feferi February.**

**Oh, also! If you guys have any headcanons for the Highschool AU that doesn't contradict the existing ones in the story, send it to me and I'll try to include it! **

**[I'm really sorry if I botch or butcher anything, please tell me if I do! I'm not American so the entire Washington thing is just throwing me off totally, the school system is really odd in America!]**

Jane walked out of home economics alone, seeing as Feferi had gone off with her boyfriend Sollux to their next class. He was one of the top students, tall and lanky with chunky glasses that had red and blue rims. He wasn't a football star, but he was sweet and caring and _that's_ what matters. She continued walking when she saw a flash of a red jacket, the kind that football players wore. Oh _god_. I only knew a few people who played football, and none are really people I want to talk with at this exact moment.

"Hey, Crocker!" Dave called out, books under his arm. He was with John, Jade, and Rose, but Jane automatically recognized his voice. Damn, he annoyed her.

'_Hey, Crocker_' I said under my breath, before pulling a huge grin. "Well, I'll be darned! Hello there Dave, it's great to see you!" I have to address him first, sadly, he had been the one to speak first and basic rules of grammar say that I must reply back to the one who spoke to me first before replying to others or starting a new conversation. "Jade, I just _love_ those new shoes! They're so pretty and red, they almost look like Dorothy's Ruby Slippers!"

Jade giggled, smiling wide which only made her buck teeth more exposed. "Thank you Jane! That's so sweet, I like your new look too! How on earth did Doc Scratch let you wear that?"

"Oh, you know… rules can be _bended_ if given enough _incentive_." I said, winking.

Dave smirked, cutting into the conversation. "So, what I'm hearing is you gave him a blowjob?"

"_David Elizabeth Strider I did not give our principal a fucking blowjob, be quiet when you say things like that in a crowded hallway or so help me god."_ I replied, pinching the bridge of my nose.

John flicked him in the forehead, more shocked than I was. I wonder, was it awkward hearing stuff like this about his older cousin, and evidently his only cousin? Then, considering the role I've played in his life, filling in for his sister when his parents died which made him move in which us, was it more awkward hearing this about the girl he looked up to growing up? "Dave!"

"It was a legitimate question, sexual favors are what are usually the product of tweaking rules. However, seeing as Jane is a full on old school, good girl, _virgin_; it makes me wonder, is Dave saying that simply to irk her little cousin or is he jealous he was not the recipient of previously mentioned sexual favors?" Rose said, peaking her head out of the book she was reading. It said 'An Imperial Affliction' on the book sleeve, but we all knew she just took the sleeve off the book and switched it with that of a smutty wizard and vampire fiction.

We all just stared at her, frozen where we were. John was the most shocked, his jaw actually dropping a bit. He was the first to move, grabbing my arm and pulling me the hell out of there.

"Jane, I am so sorry. Oh my god, I did not mean for that to happen, good god you know that kid doesn't have a filter-" I laughed, shushing John.

"Gosh, you know I'm okay." I laughed, giving him a hug. "I'm friends with his older brother you know, I can handle irony and crude humor. I actually thought it was kind of funny but he just said it a little loud, that's all."

John hugged me back, as well as he could seeing as he was a good head taller than me. I'm telling you, he grows like a _weed_. "God, I'm glad you aren't offended. Majority of girls would kind of flip."

I pulled away, smiling. "Then I guess I'm just not like the majority of girls. Come on, we need to go to class."

We headed off to our next class, art. Our teacher was a total cutie, her name was Muelin Leijon. She was Nepeta's older sister, which accounted for Nepeta's insane art skills. Nepeta's art was huge on tumblr, and won awards regularly. We continued down the building, making a right then a left until we were finally to her classroom, which we fortunately weren't late to. A lot of people were already inside, so we just went ahead and went in. Ms. Leijon was rather slack about the rules about changing classes and all, saying she liked to see how we interacted anyways. She would always draw these cute little pictures of us just doing things we thought she didn't notice, and she was loved by us all. Chocolate brown locks went halfway down her back, an olive green long sleeve with a purple smock and black jeans graced her slim figure, and black converse were on her dainty feet. She was Puerto Rican, like Nepeta, but she was eighteen when Nepeta moved with their mother, so she decided to stay in Puerto Rico. She moved to our school in Washington when a huge accident occurred with her fiancé that she doesn't like to talk about. Long story short, she has a piece in her ear that's connected by a few wires under her shirt to a box that helps her hear. Nobody would dare tease her about it though, she's too sweet and loving.

Another thing about Ms. Leijon… Did I mention her fiancé was Kurloz? Kurloz as in Gamzee's older brother? Yes. Imagine how fun that is. Thanksgiving at Nepeta's was a mess last year, I was going with Gamzee's family but then the Leijons invited the Makaras which meant I was going too, not to mention the Leijons already invited the Zahhaks and-

God, I'm off topic.

Anyways.

We sat down, next to Nepeta and Equius, who have been in this insanely long friendzone. They were adorable together, and the entire school was just waiting for them to realize it could be something more. Nepeta was a short little girl, curly black hair that almost touched her shoulders with a blue baseball cap on her head. She wore a pair of olive green shorts and an Iwatobi Swim Club shirt, from an anime she liked. Equius was a weightlifter, and an obvious athlete. He could do anything, but archery. He had black hair he liked to keep in a ponytail sometimes, but usually he wore it down where it was just past his shoulders. His main sport was boxing, and you could tell by the chipped teeth he had. He was from the British Virgin Isles, so he had a British accent, dispite him never living there. His skin wasn't extremely dark, but darker than Nepeta's olive skin. He wore an indigo muscle shirt with solid black gym shorts, and black basketball socks to match.

"Oh, Jane!" Nepeta said, flashing her cutesy little smile.

"Hello Nepeta, I love the shirt today!" I paused, smiling as I thought. "That's from … 'Free!' right?"

"Yes! Good job, you remeowmbered!" She said.

"Well, last time I came over you did watch the first few episodes with me, then I watched the rest when I was at Dirk's house later." I replied.

"Oh! Speaking of going over to people's houses, I furrgot to tell you something! Remeowmber when I was telling you about how my family was going to watch the Super Bowl together?" Her olive green eyes shone as she spoke, she was an extremely animated person.

"Yes, I do." I replied, as John and Equius struck up a conversation about the football games and how they wanted the Broncos to win, etcetera.

"Well, do you think you are furrree that day? We wanted to invite your family over too!" She clasped her hands together, leaning on them as she waited for my answer.

"Oh, well I should ask my dad, but I think we'll be able to make it! Thank you for inviting us!" I smiled, giving her a quick hug.

"Oh no purrrroblem Jane! We love having you over, it's no big deal!" She said cheerily. "Besides," She whispered, her voice low and sneaky. "Since Meowlin is marrying Purrloz…" Her eyes swept the room quickly before she finished her sentence. "_we might be sisters one day._"

I gasped, nearly falling off my chair. Nepeta just laughed as she gave me a hand to pull myself up.

"Oh gosh, you are so cute!" She said, releasing me once she knew I wasn't going to fall the second she let go. "But hey, it might hap-"

"_Nepeta._"


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note**_

**Hello again! So I had to go to my properties today, more training for the inheritance for when my dad dies.  
[Which sadly will be soon.]  
I'll be going again tomorrow, but I will most likely update!  
**

**I'm a little conflicted on this story now, I wanted it to be DirkJane but now I'm really feeling the GamzeeJane and it's really confusing.  
Like, gosh.  
I'm not going to say the thing I had in mind, because I still might do it, but now I want GamzeeJane so hard and I want them to be all cutesy at Meulin and Kurloz's wedding and- hecky.  
I can't decide.  
_I literally ship all the ships._  
**

**Anyways, feedback is always great along with criticism so don't be afraid!  
As always, send me any and all AU's you have, or errors I made about the American school system.  
****(っ◕-◕)っ  
****- Cielo**

* * *

Ms. Leijon was five minutes into class at this point, trying desperately to explain anatomy and how to draw it. "Class!" She yells, seeing as she can't really hear herself. The box could only do so much, and it did not help her to hear herself. I learnt this the hard way. "Alright! So you drew your two ovals for legs, right?" The class responded in various nods or 'yes'-es. "Purrrrrrrrrfect! Now, I've purrrvided examples on the board for all of mew! I can help you if you need it, just give me a holler!" She hesitated, before speaking again. "Actually I'm going to unplug my box and charge it, so please come up to my desk instead." She walked back to her desk which she had in the corner of her room, where she was mixing up some paper maché.

"Group D," Nepeta whispered over to me, while drawing what appeared to be a feminine body. "Meowlin says they can't make paper maché for their lives."

I laugh, returning to what I was trying to draw. I _wanted_ to draw a more human form of Problem Slueth in his Swain gettup, but _noooo._  
A girl can't do that without drawing until her fingers fall off apparently.

In art class we had been working on anatomy, so our project for this week was just to draw at least one female and one male human. Our art classes were divvied up by talent, the best in A and the worst in D.  
I somehow, got into A.

I looked over to see Equius drawing centaurs, which I'm pretty sure wasn't what Ms. Leijon was aiming for but that's cool I guess? Nepeta was drawing herself now that I saw her starting on the eyes and ears, which looks so cutesy in her art style I wanted to scream. John was drawing… I swear to god I can't deal with that boy. _He was drawing Nicholas Cage_. When he first moved in with us, he was nothing more than a small little toddler, only three years old.

I could remember his high little baby boy's voice from down the hallway, crying, saying he had a nightmare. I could remember him dragging his dirty little rabbit down the hallway, all the way down to my room, and asking if I wanted to watch a movie with him. His parents had been killed by the local gang, he was the only survivor. His mom hid him in the cupboard, stashing him behind the cake mix. All he would talk about was how he 'heard mommy and daddy screaming, but Betty Crocker was in the way', which was how he explained not being able to lift the boxes of mix away from him. He grew to hate the stuff. The only way to comfort him was for me to watch Con Air with him, he said I reminded him of his mother. She was my Father's sister, so that was probably true, I never saw much of her. I would pop the disc into my computer, and we would watch it on my little Elmo couch, until we fell asleep.

Eh, I should probably cut the kid some slack.

The bell rang, and Ms. Meulin collected up the drawings for us to work on later. "Oh, Jane!" She said, hooking back up the box to the little black wire that hung out of her shirt as the rest of the class was heading out. "Will you come here?"

I nodded, picking up my books and heading over to her desk.

"Did Nepeta tell you about Sunday?" Meulin said, slipping it back into her back pocket. "I know she said she would, but just to be sure."

"Yes she did! I need to ask my dad, but I think we'll be able to go." I replied with a little smile.

"Purrrfect, I'm always glad to have mew over Jane, mew are just a little bundle of sunshine!" She said, pinching my cheeks. "Oh, I purrrobably wasn't supposed to do that as a teacher."

I laughed, waving it off. "It's alright Meulin, nobody will make a fuss over it. How's Kurloz? Gamzee told me he was seeing the new doctor."

She smiled, her eyes hopeful. She was always hopeful when it came to Kurloz's condition. Kurloz was a mute, it had happened around the same time Meulin went mute. "The doctor says there's hope, he's talking about a surgery that might help him."

"That's great! I really hope it works, I know how great that would be for you two." I smiled. "I love talking to you Muelin, but I need to go to class! I'll catch up with you on Sunday, okay?"

She nodded. "Bye Jane, I can't wait for it!"

I walked out of the classroom and headed for my next class.

* * *

School had ended, and all was doing kind of good.

The good thing was I ended up going with Gamzee, Karkat, Vriska, Feferi, and Sollux to this arcade near the school.  
The bad thing was I made John drive my car home illegally.  
Opps.

"You bitthes better hold the fuck up, I'm kicking all of your guys' _aththes_ at Pac-Man." Sollux said in his lispy voice, as Gamzee drove us there. We found we had too many for a five person car to hold, so we were having Sollux and Karkat share a seat belt, which we were now regretting.

"Sollux. You can't even begin to _fathom_ how much I am going to _mop the fucking floor_ with you at Pac-Man." Karkat said, his loud voice making me wince. "I will make you cry so hard, I'll use your tears of defeat as a cleaning fluid."

"Oh, Bitth _please-_" Sollux started before Gamzee cut him off.

"We're here, now quit all that motherfuckin' _yelling _before I have Jane all up _and smack some sense into you_, she's done it before." Gamzee said, pulling into the parking lot. "Hasn't she Karkat?"

Everybody laughed, I definitely had the patience of Job, but I did have my breaking point. Once Karkat had pushed me a little too far, during the beginning of Gamzee and I's relationship. He had called me a greedy rich white girl, and told me to fuck off and run back to the homosexual in booty shorts I belonged with. I punched him in the face.  
Needless to say, it earned me immediate respect with Gamzee's friends.

Gamzee was Hispanic, but his family was well off. His dad was the big CEO of a company, and he didn't know his mother much. She had died giving birth to him. Gamzee was really protective of his family because of it. He was really protective of his race as well, because in high school Kurloz was made fun of all the time, earning him the nickname 'Carlos Maraca". That was when Kurloz got into 'Insane Clown Posse', starting to paint his face like them partially to hide his complexion. Gamzee caught on, following his brother and starting to paint his face as well. When some white ass heiress pranced in and started dating their youngest son, nobody was too happy.

A lot of people know about me and figure I'm some stuck up girl who uses hundred dollar bills as tissues, when in actuality I'm nothing like that. I'm mildly geeky, like to bake, and mostly spend my time at home because I am always grounded. They didn't know that, so with them only having newspaper articles and Crocker Commercials to base my personality on, well…  
It wasn't a nice start to the relationship, but now we get along a lot more.

"Oh, _Karkat_." Vriska said, sarcasm leaking from her words. "Do you really want Jane to have to teach you about proper behavior again?"

Vriska was your rebellious teenager. She had a tattoo of a spider on her shoulder and a huge blue streak in her blonde hair, right where the bangs were. She had broken her arm on a jet ski at a party, don't even _ask _me what she was doing on a jet ski in Washington, but she was on one. She was from California, and you could tell. She had the Valley Girl accent, but she didn't act like your typical blonde Valley Girl, she was highly competitive. She was in the girls' volleyball and basketball league, but was more often than not fouled out, mostly for either spiking the volleyball into girls' faces, or for lobbing the ball at girls. Needless to say, she was over competitive. She had a light tan, and wore shredded cobalt jeans and a tied up white tee with a cobalt Scorpio symbol on it.

"That was _one _time." Karkat growled from the backseat.

"And we'll never let you forget it, dumbathth." Sollux chided.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**

_**Okay I am seriously so sorry for not updating for a really long time.**_

_**My dad's back gave out and my grandpa is now dying as well and... it's a tough time for me. I finally got accepted into the medical academy though, I'm super excited! I'm so much closer to being a surgeon! **_

_**See you next chapter,**_

_**Cielo the Author **_

* * *

We walked in, and went over to the change machines. I mean seriously, who actually has quarters in their wallets. Every time I get change I get a boat load of dimes, pennies, and nickels, but never any quarters.

Sollux got there first, and he was in and out like a thief. Before you knew it he was already over at Pacman, putting in his quarters. Karkat groaned, pointing at him.

"Look at that. Look at that bullshit. He did that just to irritate me, you know he did." The short teenage boy said. He was an albino, but he dyed his hair back in his emo phase he went through in the seventh grade. However, the color had grown on him so much he kept it. He was born and raised in Washington, the gloomy weather was better for his delicate skin. He had been great friends with my little cousin, it was kind of adorable really.

Vriska sighed, rolling her eyes. "_Karkat._ Don't even give me that, do you seriously even think he cares. Just shut _the hell up_ and go play Ms. Pacman like a good little boy."

He groaned, starting to fuss but Vriska raised up her hand and made a little hand mouth with it. "Vriska died from a severe case of '_tiredofyourbullshit-itis_' aka 'Deal With It Like A Man Disease' and you will have to leave a message."

He threw up his hands in exasperation and went over to Mrs. Pacman. Vriska then went over to one of the shooting games where you pretend to be an assassin, I really didn't remember the name. Gamzee went over to skeeball. I looked around to see what interested me, when I saw the greatest game possibly ever.  
_**Galaga.**_

Damn, that spaceship was fine. It's smooth white paint job with it's thrilling [and dare I say sexy] red trim was so enticing! It gave me chills just to think about it.  
_Galaga._

I put my quarter into the slot and starting playing, I would win this for my dear Galaga.

I started playing and it was all in a heated haze after that; me trying so hard to win I zoned out of pretty much everything, only pausing to put in a new quarter. A while in to me playing; however, someone tapped me on my shoulder. I shrugged the person off, shooting more lasers at the oncoming enemy. However the person apparently was a persistent piece of shit because they tapped me again, and harder.  
Ouch.

"What the hell?" I asked, keeping my attention on the game. But it was too late, my recover time had caused me to miss a ship that made me loose a life. "_Damn you!_" I said, spinning around. "What do you want, oh my god this better be good."

Karkat looked up at me, and pointed to Sollux who was snickering from the Pacman machine. "He called me his bitch."

"What am I, your mother?" I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Punch him in the face or something, I don't care, just take care of it!"

"Sollux, I'm allowed to punch you in the face." Karkat said, turning on his heels and walking over to Sollux. "Jane gave me permission."

"If you can reach that high." Sollux replied, returning his attention to beating his high score on Pacman.

"Oh, you son of a bitch!" Karat said, running over and swiping his glasses.

"Hey! You piece of thhit!" Sollux said, getting up and turning around. "I can't see!"

Karkat put them on, teasing Sollux. "Oh look, I'm _thuper nerdy_ and can't thee for thhit!"

Sollux groaned, his reddish brown eye and blue eye now very visible obvious. He had heterochromia , a disease that made him have different colored eyes. "Karkat, you know my vithion is thhit, give me the glaththeth. My head ith really thtarting to hurt."

"Good!" Karkat said, crossing his arms. "You hurt my feelings and I'll hurt you back, eye for an eye just like my dad says the Bible teaches-"

"_Karkat!_" Sollux shouted, running forward only to fall on his face.

This would probably be a great time to intervene.

Mituna came out from the back, he was Sollux's older brother. He was around the same age as Meulin and Kurloz. He like Sollux was Asain, and he had raven hair that covered his eyes. He wore these thick boxy glasses, he needed them seeing as he was legally blind. He and his wife worked there sometimes when the employees were being irresponsible shits. His dad did own the place after all. His wife worked as a video game reviewer and he as a video game designer, especially 3D games.

"Hahaha!" He said, pointing at him. "You dumbathth! You tripped over your own two feet, and you call me the blind one? 'Tula! Get a load of him, oh _god!_"

Latula came out as Sollux started protesting, trying to pull himself up. "Oh my god, that's just totally not rad 'Tuna." She kneeled down and tried to help him get up and slowly she managed to get him on two feet. "The poor baby needed help." She was Terezi's older sister, and Mituna's wife. They had gotten married a little bit ago. She was normally sized height-wise, and had black hair that went down until just above her breasts. She was a slender woman, always wore red shades over her blue eyes, and had at least five peircings.  
She was pretty rad.

I just turned around and let them resolve themselves. Life is a story and not everyone can be the main character. I continued to play.

* * *

Gamzee had dropped me off at home, where I went and did my homework for a solid hour.  
Then I gave up.  
And went on tumblr for a solid four.

I wasn't really popular, but I really liked just being there. My blog was nice and my html coding was hella, but I didn't really have any talents that people would like. I always went under an alias as well, they don't need to know I'm an heiress.  
Then they wouldn't like me for me then, just my money.

I got up to get changed, I was in desperate need of yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt. I was putting away my bra when I noticed that, well… I was missing my favorite pair of panties along with one or two others. I finished getting dressed and looked around my room. No such luck, they weren't anywhere. I went out of my room and went down the hall.

"John?" I called out, walking towards his room. "I don't know if it got mixed up in the wash or something, but I can't find some of my-" I reached his door and opened it, to see John and Dave.  
Along with three pairs of my panties.

"Jane?!" John said in alarm, and then shoved the one he was holding in his mouth. It was something he had done as a kid when he got in trouble. If he stole a cookie, or a mustache of mine he'd shove it in his mouth when caught. Apparently panties applied to the rule.

"Dude, that is so hardcore." Dave said, wearing a pair of mine on his head. It was my favorite pair too, one of the only ones I had saved from Meenah. It was black with tiny little fedoras on it, and it was my baby.

I stared at them, my first words barely a whisper. "Panties… Why do you two have my panties? Why do you have my panties on your head Dave? Why are my panties in your mouth John? Why is there a pair of my panties on the floor?" My volume was raising with every word. "Why… _why did you pull a __**panty raid **__on your __**best friend's older sister?!**_"

John spat out my panties, his eyes wide like a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Dave was cool as ice though, his 'cool kid' game was just so strong. The albino stared at me through his black shades.

"Because Jane, I thought this would be a mighty fine hat." He said, patting his platinum hair. "It contrasts beautifully doesn't it?"

"David Elizabeth Strider, you give me those this instant!" I said, blushing profusely.

"Oh, saying full names now?" He said, giving me a cocky smirk. "No, I think I like this look on me."

"I'll tell Dirk."

"Shit." He said, raising his hands in defeat. "John, you heard the girl. Return the fruits of our panty raid." He pulled off the pair and handed it to John.

John returned the handful to me, which I snatched out of his hand. "You bunch of perverts! Stay out of my room, or I swear to god you will not like the consequences!"

"What will you do to us Jane, stab us with a fork?" Dave said, sarcasm just oozing from his words.

"Bitch. I might." I replied, turning on my heel and sashaying out.


End file.
